Fall Free

when i close my eyes, pull away, and look at myself
i see privilege
i see potential
i see sacrifice, love, and promise of eternity
but when i open my eyes
i can’t awaken who i want to be
i can only feel the limitations of everything within me
i am dirty
i am unfit
the thought of lifting up my foot to take another step is daunting
because the future is so foggy
for all i know i’m stepping into nothing
off a cliff and free falling
except what’s worse: moving or staying behind
ask me once, ask me twice, everything is really, actually fine
cause if i stay the fog becomes smoke and the smoke clogs brains
suffocating from a given gift of emotional understanding
why can i see others so much clearer than i can see myself?
why does this mirror talk so ugly?
stop.
my bony frame groans in the ditch beside the road
eating dust, my mouth caked thirsty, hungry
and i guess it’s all my fault, i put myself here
stop.
you’re bent over, you’re holding me
stop.
you’re weeping, you’re healing me
stop.
you’re tears land and fall from mine
you share your heart and place it inside
and i’m a child
with no more power left to stop
amazing love, how can it be
when i close my eyes, pull away, and look at myself
i’m only beautiful because of who you are
and what you’ve done
and this distance that i’ve come
is the battle you have won
thank you.
i don’t step forward in blind belief
i fall freely into an unknown
with the only one who awakens my peace.

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11 comments
  1. Diana said:

    The font is small but the feeling is oh so big! Such a pleasure to read: cuts to the bone Kira…

    Like

  2. This is absolutely beautiful and I just love your vulnerability and truth in this whole blog in general. Always keep pushing to find your purpose or if you already have to keep it and grow it, remember when you don’t ‘feel like’ doing something that’s when you should put the most effort into doing it because you’re most probably half way there and always remember you’re LOVED and remember by whom,
    Xx God bless

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kira said:

      i’m not sure why i’m just reading this, but thank you so so much for your words of encouragement. they are reaching out to me now and moving.

      Like

  3. That, that says it all. Lovely. I pray God uses it to touch others hearts as He obviously touched yours. God bless sister.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Your own beauty is reflected in the eyes of the one who has loved you unconditionally and who has loved you for yourself. It is okay and good to acknowledge your own beauty, strength, and patience.

        Like

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